Would You Dance If I Asked You to Dance?
by Mistress Leigh
Summary: Voldemort has been defeated, and Harry and Hermione struggle to find their place in a world that doesn't seem to fit them anymore. H/Hr
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or much else, actually.**

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He watched her sometimes, when she wasn't paying attention.

He had thought that he knew everything there was to know about her, back when they were in school together. Years of friendship had made him careless with her sometimes, careless with her feelings and with her time, because he thought that she would always be there for him. He realized later that he hadn't appreciated her enough, but at the time all he could focus on was Voldemort and what he had to do to end the war. Hermione was always just _there, _exactly when he needed her to be and always with the right answer to get him out of whatever mess he had gotten himself into. He took her for granted, like he took for granted that the Dursleys would always hate him and that Ron would never, ever turn down a meal. Hermione was unchanging.

Until she changed, that is. Until the war ended, and everyone who lived was left to put the pieces back together, and she couldn't, somehow. Harry had immediately done what had been expected of him; he returned to Ginny as if nothing had ever happened, and took his place in the Weasley family to help them in their grief over losing Fred. His guilt, the feeling that he had somehow shattered this family who had been so kind to him over the years, was overwhelming. He _had_ to stay, to try and help them in any way that he could. So Hermione went to Australia, by herself, to try to restore her parents' memories, and Harry assured himself that it was fine. She would be fine. She always was.

Weeks later, when she finally returned, Harry never mentioned to her how he had counted the days that she had been gone. Things had not gone the way that she had hoped with her parents, and he hadn't wanted to make her feel guilty that he didn't seem to be able to make sense of anything without her there. Ginny tried, she really did, but she just didn't understand what they had been through; no one did, really, except Hermione. Not even Ron, not that Harry would have been able to talk to him about it anyway. Forgiveness was one thing, but forgetting that Ron had left them at such a critical time in the horcrux hunt – that was something else entirely. Only Hermione had endured all of it with him, and Harry had come to accept that she was the only one that he could talk to about anything.

She never gave him any details about her parents, though. Yes, she had restored their memories. No, they hadn't wanted to return. They liked living in Australia, had started a new life there, and they were happy. No, she wasn't sure when she would talk to them again, but she was sure that everything would work out. And she left it at that. But there was a brokenness about her that Harry had never seen before, and Harry knew that, for once, Hermione _wasn't_ fine. He didn't know what to do about it, though. In the past, he would have asked Hermione, but he couldn't exactly do that this time. So he watched her.

He watched her at meals, where she pushed the food around on her plate but barely ate anything. He noticed the shadows under her eyes, and the way that she couldn't even bring herself to argue with Ron. Ron, of course, took this as a good sign – surely this meant that their relationship was on better footing now, if she were not finding fault with his manners or his eating habits? But Harry could tell that Hermione wasn't arguing, not because she was suddenly enamored with Ron's ability to talk with his mouth full, but because she suddenly couldn't bring herself to be bothered. She was going through the motions of the dutiful girlfriend – if that's what she was, because Harry knew that she and Ron had never officially announced any change to their relationship – but there was a dullness to her eyes that Harry knew he had never seen before. He was willing to bet that Ron saw it too. He just didn't want to admit it, because he wanted to cling to what was supposed to be, just as much as Harry did.

Then there was the day that he couldn't find her after breakfast, and the panic that he felt was eerily reminiscent of the final battle. There were still Death Eaters out there. What if someone had breached the wards? What if she had gotten distracted, wandered past the wards, or even done it deliberately just to get away from them all for a while? By the time that he found her, sitting listlessly beside the lake with Crookshanks curled up in her lap, he realized that he was shaking and his heart was beating so loudly that he couldn't imagine how the entire world couldn't hear it. He wanted to scream at her, "Don't do that to me! I need to know where you are!" but he realized immediately that it would be ridiculous to do so, and that Hermione (at least, the old Hermione anyway) would not take kindly to his assumption that she needed his protection. He took several deep breaths to calm himself, before walking quietly to her side and lowering himself down beside her.

She didn't even look at him as he sat down, and he was just about to say something when she simply leaned over and put her head on his shoulder. He sighed and put an arm around her, leaning back against a tree and trying to relax. The peaceful setting, coupled with the warm July weather, had him about to nod off when Hermione's voice startled him into awareness.

"Harry, do you ever feel like you don't know what you're doing?" Her voice was so soft that he had to strain his ears to hear it, "As if everything for so long was a build-up to that one thing, the moment that Voldemort was defeated and then everything was supposed to be wonderful...but it's not, and now what? What do we do with ourselves? People are dead and mistakes were made and lives have been changed...and nothing is the way that I thought it would be. Am I making any sense?" She turned her face so that she was looking up into his, and for just a moment Harry forgot how to speak. When he remembered again, she had looked down, apparently embarrassed that he hadn't understood.

He shook his head, annoyed with himself for getting distracted. It wasn't like Hermione hadn't looked at him thousands of times, and it had never before rendered him incapable of rational thought. Clearly, he was more tired than he had realized.

"No...I mean, yes, you're making perfect sense, Hermione. I've been thinking the same thing, but I'm pretty sure that my problem is that I didn't expect to be alive after the battle, so I didn't know what to expect. Now that it's over, and I managed to live through it, everything that I thought I wanted before just seems kind of…hollow. I wanted to be an auror, and sometimes I think I still do, but...I just don't know. Maybe I don't want to fight Death Eaters anymore. Maybe I want to let someone else save the world for a while. And then there's Ginny, wanting to pick up right where we left off, and I'm not even sure that I'm the same person who dated her in the first place. I don't even really know what to say to her."

"Exactly!" Hermione said, and Harry thought that there was more light in her eyes in that moment than he had seen in weeks. "I feel the same way! All these years, I just wanted to do well in school, to make my parents proud of me, and now that they don't even want to speak to me I can't even get excited about going back to school in September. I wanted to help you defeat Voldemort, and we did, but so many things still need to change. And as for Ron...I thought for years that if we could just get together it would be wonderful, but now that we have I just...I just don't feel the way that I expected to feel. We don't have anything in common except magic and you, and as fascinating as you are, Harry, we can't talk about you forever."

"I don't know," Harry smiled down at her, "There is so much to say. I am "The Chosen One", after all. "The Boy Who Lived" or "The Man Who Conquered", or whatever rubbish they're calling me now. Surely you could talk for a few years and still not have gone through everything that there is to say about me?"

"Well, that's true." Hermione was trying to keep a straight face, and Harry thought that it was now his sworn duty to see her smile, if only once. "It might take a few years, but then what? When we have finally said everything there is to say about Harry Potter, Defeater of Voldemort, then what are we supposed to talk about? I mean, Ron and I have been friends for years, but we've only been friends for years because you were there too. I suppose that you could just stay with us forever. That would be loads of fun, wouldn't it? Ron and I could get married, and you could just live in our attic, so that you could come down and converse with us whenever we can't think of anything else to say."

Thinking to himself that that particular idea was a little too reminiscent of the cupboard under the stairs, Harry shook his head, "I have an even better idea! Ginny and I'll get married and you can marry Ron. Then we'll all move in together and be one big happy Weasley family!"

They looked at each other for a moment, neither one of them sure whether they wanted to shudder in horror or laugh hysterically. They finally settled on laughter, and once they started neither one of them could bring themselves to stop. They sat there, huddled together under the tree, and laughed until neither of them could breathe. It felt wonderful, very much the catharsis that they had both been needing, and when they finally settled down they didn't say anything for a long time.

Finally, Hermione broke the silence. "I think I might need to go away for a while, Harry."

Harry jerked as if she had slapped him, and pulled away from her a bit so that he could again look into her eyes.

"Away? What do you mean go away? I thought that you were going to finish Hogwarts, at least. I know that things aren't right with your parents right now, but I know you well enough to know that you'll regret not finishing your education."

Hermione just shook her head, the light-heartedness from before gone as if it had never been. "I can get my NEWTs without finishing that last year. I'm fairly certain that I could pass them now, and it would only take a bit of study for me to get the scores that I want. That's just it, though, Harry...I don't really even care anymore about any of that. I still love to learn, but I don't have anything to prove anymore. I don't even know if I want to stay in the wizarding world. My parents feel as if I betrayed them by using my magic against them, and they were all the family that I had. There's nothing to keep me here. You will go on with your life, whether it's with Ginny or not, or whether you become an auror or something else entirely, and do wonderful, brilliant things because that's just who you are. I can't stay with Ron, I know that now. He deserves someone who will be a better fit for him, and we'll only start resenting each other. I just can't do this. I feel like I'm pretending, and don't want to do it anymore!"

"But...what about me?" The words came out of Harry's mouth before he could even think about them, "What about us? I need you, Hermione! When you went to Australia, I didn't even know what to do with myself. It's been the two of us against the world for so long that I don't even know what to do without you there anymore! You're the only one that knows what we went through, and you're the only one that..." he stopped, not able to think of the words to make her understand, and instead just said what his heart was crying out to him, "You're the only one that feels like home to me. When you're there, I feel like everything might just turn out all right. Even if I did become an auror, I could handle it knowing that you would be there at the end of the day for me to come back to. If you aren't there, then I can't think of anything that I could do that would ever feel right again!"

Hermione reached out and put her hand on his face, and he couldn't help the shiver that went through his body at her touch. She had tears in her eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to make them go away. But he couldn't let her leave! He could do anything but that.

"Harry..." she started, and then seemed to collect herself before continuing, "Harry, you're dating Ginny. I can't be those things for you if you are dating someone else. I love you, Harry. I've known for years that it wouldn't take very much at all for me to fall in love with you, but I know that if I allow myself to feel those feelings I will never be able to stop them. If you are going to make a life with Ginny, then you need to let go of me. You need to let her be "home" for you, you need to confide in her, and let her have that place in your heart. I can't be the girl that is the closest to you, if you are going to be with someone else. It isn't fair to her, and it isn't fair to me."

With that, she stood up slowly, and Harry couldn't even bring himself to look at her. He couldn't even digest what she had said, and he had a sinking feeling that he had not talked her out of leaving. How had this gone so horribly wrong so quickly?

"Harry?" He looked up at her, wondering what else she could possibly say after that. He felt as if he had been punched in the stomach. "I'll let you know where I am, I promise. And I will always, always be your friend. I meant what I said, though. I do love you, Harry. I love you and I want more than anything else in the world for you to be happy, but I can't sacrifice my heart for you. I would love to be everything that you need me to be, but only if you wanted to be with me completely in return. Otherwise, you need to let me go."

And with that, she walked away, leaving Harry quite sure that his life would never be the same again.

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**AN~ This is only going to be two or three chapters...unless something really weird happens and I get a brilliant idea. Never fear, though! It will have a happy ending.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hello, everyone! I posted this at first without an author's note, accidentally, and I was horrified. I can't believe that I posted a second chapter without thanking my wonderful betas, Witherwings01 and B00kw0rm92, for putting up with all of my typing errors, wonky dialogue, and punctuation insanity. Not to mention the fact that I sent Chapter 2 in for them to look over, decided that I hated it, and wrote a completely new chapter after they had finished. If they weren't so completely awesome, they would have killed me by now (especially B00kw0rm92, because she is my daughter and knows where to find me!) Anyway, they are completely amazing and patient and should be given sainthood or something. And, to top it off, both of them are MUCH better writers than I will ever be, and the fact that they put up with my stories is a credit to their wonderfulness. **

**Okay. I'm done raving about my betas now. Go forth and read!**

**Oh...wait another second. I still don't own Harry Potter.**

**Now. Go!**

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Hermione left that night, right after dinner.

There had been a brief, intense conversation that afternoon between Hermione and Ron that had left Hermione pale and mournful, and Ron red-faced and sullen. Hermione had retired to the room that she shared with Ginny to pack her things, and Ron had slammed his door and proceeded to completely destroy his bedroom, if the noises coming forth from inside were any indication.

Ginny, completely baffled by the sudden turn of events, had cornered Harry in the kitchen and demanded to know if he knew what was happening. When he informed her, quite hesitantly because he knew that by telling her he was putting yet another Weasley on the warpath, that Hermione was planning to leave, she mumbled an angry, "Well, we'll just see about that!" and thundered up the stairs to confront her friend. Harry couldn't help but hope that Ginny would say something to change Hermione's mind, even though he knew that he wasn't being fair. He knew in his heart that Hermione was doing what she felt was best for her, but he couldn't help but wish that she would decide to put everyone else first, just as she had always done before. It was selfish, yes...but he would do just about anything at that point to keep her from leaving.

When the voices from upstairs began rising in obvious indignation, Harry had to stop a concerned Mrs. Weasley from interfering by telling her that he would handle it. He had a bad feeling that he knew whose side the Weasley matriarch would be on, and even though he wanted Hermione to stay he couldn't allow the entire family to gang up on her. He could only imagine how his stubborn friend would react, and he doubted that anyone would be happy with the result.

He made his way quietly up the staircase, wondering what in the world he could do to defuse the situation while also convincing Hermione that running away wasn't the answer. No matter how unhappy she had been – and he had watched her enough to know that she had been absolutely miserable since the final battle – surely it wasn't anything that they couldn't work out together. She had claimed to love him earlier, and while he couldn't remember anyone ever saying those words to him before, he was fairly certain that if anyone on this earth truly loved him it would have to be Hermione. Why else would she have stayed with him throughout the last hellish year, not to mention the harrowing times that they had suffered through in the past? His mind skimmed over the fact that she had also said that she could easily fall in love with him, because that was just ridiculous. Hermione needed...well, he wasn't exactly sure what she needed or who would be good enough for Hermione. Not Ron, if he were being perfectly honest. But not himself either.

When he reached the door to the room that the girls shared he paused for a moment with his hand on the doorknob, listening. The loud voices had calmed, and he was worried for a moment that tempers had escalated to the point that wands had become involved; he could almost imagine opening the door to find both girls stunned and bound on the floor. But when he pushed open the door just enough to peer inside, he realized that they were still talking, but since both girls were in tears they had lowered their voices to keep from being heard.

"But Ron is in love with you, Hermione!" Ginny said beseechingly, and Harry strained his ears to how Hermione would respond. If anything might persuade her to stay, this was it. But Harry had underestimated how much Hermione had thought her plan through, as usual, and his heart sank upon hearing her next words.

"No, Ginny, he isn't. He might love me, but he doesn't love me the way that he should for us to continue to stay together. He loves the idea of the two of us, and he thinks that we can make things work because we've been friends for so long, but...there's more to it than that, Ginny. I love Ron, too. But I can tell you this, if we stay together, we will end up hating one another. And I can't allow that to happen after everything that we've been through together. I need to get away, to decide what I want to do with my life, and then I'll come back. Eventually, anyway. Please, Ginny! Please understand that I need this!"

"This is about Harry too, isn't it?" Ginny asked with a resigned tone to her voice that sounded foreign to Harry's ears. Harry almost walked in then, so uncomfortable was he with the thought that he really shouldn't be listening to this conversation, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He really, _really, _wanted to know how Hermione would answer that question.

For several moments, Hermione didn't say anything, and Harry had just about convinced himself that she knew he was there and that perhaps he should announce himself before he was hexed, but she finally responded. "Yes, Ginny, of course it's also about Harry. Isn't it always? Everything that I have done for seven years now has been because of Harry, and if I don't leave it will be that way for the rest of my life! We've talked about this before; I know that Harry would never have romantic feelings for me, and I know that you are better for him than I could ever be. All I want is for him to be happy, and as long as you make him happy then I am content to leave him here with you while I find out what I have to do to get on with my life, but I'm telling you, Ginny: You had best take care of him. Because if you think for one minute that our friendship will get in the way of my wrath if you hurt him, then you don't know me very well."

"You know that I will, Hermione. I've waited for him for my entire life, and I won't let him down now. He'll learn to trust me, just like he does you, he just needs to give it some time." Ginny paused, considering. "Honestly, Hermione...if you really don't think that things are going to work out with you and Ron, maybe this is for the best. Harry will never lean on me if you are here, because he's always depended on you so much. This might be just the thing that he and I need to cement our relationship. Not that we won't miss you, of course." She hastily added.

Harry swallowed, fighting the urge to scream at both of them. What were they going on about? They were talking as if Hermione had told Ginny that she had feelings for him, but if that were true, why was Ginny acting as if that didn't matter? This was Hermione...of course it mattered! They need to talk about this!

Hermione said something else, but Harry missed it while he was dealing with his own inner turmoil. Suddenly, he noticed that someone was coming toward the door and he backed away quickly, intent on making it look like he had just come down the hallway. He reached for the door again, just as it opened and Hermione emerged, levitating her trunk in front of her. She saw Harry standing there and, obviously worried that he might have overheard something, made a great show of smiling brightly at him and gesturing behind her at Ginny, who was still standing just inside the door.

"There she is, Harry! We're done talking, and I'm just going to put my trunk downstairs. I'll stay until after we eat, so we can say our goodbyes later, all right? You two have fun!" And then she was gone, leaving Harry staring after her and Ginny watching them both, a look of determination on her face.

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Dinner was a very quiet affair, with both Mr. and Mrs. Weasley obviously baffled about how to handle Hermione's imminent departure. Mrs. Weasley had tried cajoling her, telling her that there was nothing that couldn't be worked out if Hermione would only stay and talk it through, and when Hermione stayed firm in her desire to leave, she pointed out that safety was still an issue; there were still Death Eaters out there that had not been captured, after all. Hermione's insistence that she could take care of herself left no one at the table feeling any better, because none of them felt very secure yet after the war. It was still too fresh, their losses still too recent to make them accepting of any of their inner circle straying very far. By the end of the meal Ron had finished his food and stalked away angrily, without even saying goodbye, and Mr. Weasley had hugged Hermione quickly and wished her well in her journey before leading a still-protesting Mrs. Weasley out of the kitchen.

Harry desperately wanted a moment alone with Hermione, but Ginny seemed equally desperate to keep it from happening. There were awkward questions about Hermione's destination – Australia, so as to be close to her parents in the hopes that they might somehow reconcile – and promises to write. Though Ginny stood right there with them, her hand possessively holding Harry's arm as if her life depended on it, an entire conversation seemed to pass between Harry and Hermione without either of them saying a word.

Feelings that neither of them were willing to discuss hung in the air between them, and Harry couldn't help but feel as if he needed to do something, needed to stop this before she walked out of his life and nothing was ever the same again. His irritation with Ginny was growing, but he didn't know what to do. This was the only family that he had ever known, and if he walked out right now with Hermione (which, if he would just admit it to himself, is what he really wanted to do) he was sure that they would never forgive him. And he was _supposed _to be here, wasn't he? Isn't this what he had fought for all this time? Ginny had waited for him, and even though he was beginning to think that perhaps she had waited for The Boy Who Lived and not The Boy Who Just Wanted to Be Left Alone, didn't he owe her something?

And what of the rest of the family? Fred was dead, and Harry couldn't help but feel a certain responsibility for that. How could he leave them now, and cause them even more pain? And what about his friendship with Ron, which would probably be destroyed if he abandoned him now to be with Hermione? Surely Ron would take that as a betrayal of immense proportions, and Harry was fairly certain that their friendship wouldn't survive such a blow.

And so it was with a heavy heart and very confused mind that Harry hugged Hermione one last time and made her promise him yet again that she would be careful. "If you need anything..." he trailed off, aware that Ginny had taken her position back at his side and was listening intently.

"I'll know right where to find you." Hermione finished for him, her gentile smile betraying the fact that there were fresh tears in her eyes. This was really it, and neither of them could believe that they were about to be separated after all this time. It didn't seem real, and Harry fought down a sense of rising panic. He all but shook Ginny's hand off of his arm, and took a step forward. "Hermione..."

"Harry, I've got to do this. You know that I do." Hermione looked like she was going to throw her arms around him again, but a glance behind him at a frowning Ginny stopped her. "It'll be fine. We knew that we would have to go our separate ways at some point, right? You'll have your life, and I'll have mine, but we'll always be friends. It'll be...like it's supposed to be."

"Yeah, sure." Harry replied tersely, not trusting his voice to say much more "If this is what you need, then...fine. I'll talk to you later, right?"

Hermione nodded, no longer trying to hide her tears. "Say good-bye to Ron for me, yeah? Tell him...tell him I'm sorry."

Then with one last look at the house that she had called a second home for so many years, Hermione shrunk her trunk, put it into her black bag, and silently apparated away, leaving Harry to stare at the spot where she had been long after she had gone. Eventually, Ginny tugged on his arm and led him gently upstairs, telling him all about how they were going to go to Diagon Alley the next day to pick up their books for school (because she was sure that she could convince him to go back with her) and wondering aloud how different Hogwarts would be this year now that the war was over.

But all Harry could think of was how horrible Hogwarts would be without Hermoine, and how dreadful his life would be if she were not in it. If this was the future that Harry had worked so hard for, it was getting very difficult to believe it was even worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note ~ Second chapter in one week, y'all! How did that even happen? I honestly have no idea, so it may never happen again. But cooperative children and your wonderful reviews of the last chapter went a long way in motivating me. So yay for chapter three, and my amazing betas B00kw0rm92 and Witherwings01 (especially Witherwings01, who looked over this for me even though I sent it to him right at his bedtime. He goes above and beyond his beta duties, and he is awesome.)**

**Still don't own Harry, although I'm so frustrated with him right now I consider that a blessing. What is with him, anyway? Don't fret, though. He is starting to see the light. But don't just take my word for it! Go find out for yourself!**

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Harry never knew that time could move so slowly. It had not even been a day since Hermione left – sixteen hours, to be exact – and already he missed her so much that he could hardly think of anything else._ This is ridiculous, _he told himself, _It's not like we haven't been apart before. We've gone whole summers apart in the past! I just have to think of something else. _But no matter how much he tried, his mind kept returning to her, and to the one thing that was different this time around from every other time they had been separated in the past; This time, she wasn't coming back.

Oh, he knew that she had said that she would return eventually, but his gut feeling told him that she had left them for good. She would work things out with her parents in Australia and make a life for herself there. He knew that she was perfectly capable of anything that she set her mind to, and he was sure that she would find her place in the world and people who would love her and count on her and she would never want to return to him...or to her other friends, he hastened to add to himself. He could just picture her, doing important things, learning everything that she could learn, and helping everyone that crossed her path. She would be brilliant at anything she tried, and she didn't need any of her old friends to succeed at whatever she set her mind to do. Not the way that they needed her.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Ginny, who came up beside him and took him by the hand. They were in Diagon Alley, ostensibly to pick up Ginny's school supplies for the year, but she seemed quite determined to have Harry buy a set for himself also (and Ron, but even Ginny wasn't going to push Ron to do anything that he didn't want to do today). Harry knew that he had to make a decision about what he would be doing in just a couple of weeks; Kingsley had been owling him about joining the auror program almost as much as McGonagall had been pursuing him for his decision about coming back to Hogwarts to finish his education.

The trouble was that he still didn't want to do either one. If he had to make a decision, he was leaning towards joining the aurors, if only because that's what everyone else seemed to think he should do. Everyone except Ginny, of course, who wanted him to spend the year with her, especially since she had been made Head Girl and she was certain that McGonagall still hadn't announced Head Boy because she was waiting to see if Harry would return. "We would be just like your parents, Harry! Wouldn't that be wonderful?" Unfortunately, all Harry could think of was that, if Hermione had decided to return to Hogwarts, the Head Girl position would have been given to her without a second thought. Also unfortunately, that wasn't exactly something that he could point out to Ginny.

She pulled him along by the hand, keeping up a steady stream of chatter about how perfect it would be to spend the entire year with him, and how everyone would look up to him now that he had defeated Voldemort. "They certainly won't treat you like they have in the past, Harry. Just think of how grateful they all will be! You won't ever have to worry about people talking behind your back and thinking badly of you; they'll all want to be your friend now!" Harry's stomach was in knots just listening to her. Didn't she know him at all? Why in the world would she think that he would want to go to school to be fawned over? Just the thought of it made him want to go back to the burrow and hide under the bed.

Just then he looked up and realized that he was about to be pulled into Flourish and Blotts, and his eyes sought out something – anything – that he could use as an excuse to postpone that particular shop. He simply wasn't ready to face anything else that would remind him so strongly of Hermione. He caught sight of a familiar face coming out of Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, and used that as an opportunity to pull his hand away from a surprised Ginny. "Neville!" he called and, seeing his friend look up and give him a small wave of recognition, he turned to Ginny. "I'll be back soon. I really want to talk to him!" Sprinting over to his friend as fast as his legs would carry him, he barely even heard Ginny's obviously annoyed growl from behind him. _I'll make it up to her later_, he promised himself.

When he reached Neville, they exchanged pleasantries and decided to head to the Leaky Cauldron for a butterbeer, hoping that they could find an out-of-the-way corner where they might not be approached. Wizards and witches alike had been stopping Harry all morning, most of them just wanting to wish him well, but a great many wanting to be able to tell their friends that they had spoken to the great Harry Potter, Defeater of Voldemort. He was beginning to wonder if he would have to find a way to drastically change his appearance if he was ever going to continue living in the magical world.

"You go find a table, I'll get the drinks." Neville offered, knowing that Harry was desperate to get away from the prying eyes that had all turned to him when he had walked in the room. Harry made his way to a back corner, only to be stopped twice by eager new first year Hogwarts students intent on getting his autograph, and once by an elderly woman who wanted to thank him for getting rid of the evil wizard who had killed her son during the first war. Harry was polite to all of them, but by the time Neville returned with the butterbeers it was all he could do not to apparate away someplace where he could be out of the public eye. He couldn't imagine how he was ever going to live with this for the rest of his life.

As soon as Neville was settled, Harry cast a quick notice-me-not charm and a muffliato spell, hoping that it would be enough to let them speak to one another in peace. Neville noticed, shaking his head. "Blimey, Harry! Is this how it is all the time now? I don't know how you do it!"

"I don't know either. It's driving me mad! I thought it was bad before, but it was never anything like this. I can't even show my face in public!"

"So, what are you going to do? Since you're here with Ginny, I'm assuming that you're going back to Hogwarts."

"No...well, I don't think so, anyway. She really wants me to, but I just can't see it. Kingsley has offered to let me go ahead and join the aurors; says that he doesn't even care if I have my NEWTS or not. Trouble is, I don't think I really want to do that either."

"Whoa! I bet you haven't told Hermione yet that you aren't planning to go back to finish school. Aren't you afraid that she'll skin you alive?"

Harry sighed, looking down at the table and wondering how they had stumbled onto this topic so quickly. Neville, noticing his reticence, frowned. "Is everything all right? I didn't see Hermione with you earlier. She did come back from Australia, didn't she?"

"Yes, she came back...but now she's gone again. She decided that she was going to take some time for herself, and work on her relationship with her parents. I think she's planning to come back later and sit for her NEWTS, but for right now..." Harry trailed off, not really knowing how to explain further why Hermione had decided to leave. He didn't know how much Neville knew about her relationship with Ron.

Neville continued to frown, staring at Harry intently until Harry became quite uncomfortable. "What's wrong?" Harry asked finally, wondering what could possible have Neville so annoyed.

"Harry...what did Hermione tell you about her parents?"

Harry looked confused, "What do you mean? About her parents in general, or what happened in Australia? I know that they didn't react well to her decision to erase their memories, and she's been very upset since she came back. Why? Do you know something that I don't?"

Neville groaned, running his hands over his face. "I had hoped that she might have talked to you more about this, now that the war is over. She never wanted to bother you with any of it before, she was always afraid that you would blame yourself they way you did about everything else."

"What are you talking about, Neville?" Harry said, exasperated. He didn't like the idea that Hermione had been keeping anything from him.

Neville stared at him for a moment longer, obviously trying to decide what to say. Harry was about to tell him to just get on with it, when he obviously decided on a starting point. "Back at Hogwarts, there were sometimes nights when I couldn't sleep, or when I was up late finishing an essay. Several times Hermione ended up in the common room with me, and we talked a bit. She knew about my Gran, and how she always expected me to be just like my father, and how I never quite seemed to measure up in her eyes. She told me that she had some of the same issues with her mum. Her parents never expected to have children, she said, and were very focused on their jobs. She always thought that she needed to be perfect for them, to somehow make them feel like she was worth it, I guess. That was a big part of why she was always so weird about having the highest score in the class, because she wanted her parents, but especially her mum, to be proud of her."

"Her parents were glad when she got her Hogwarts letter," Neville continued, "because McGonagall told them that going to Hogwarts would teach her how to control her magic, and they were rather frightened of the things that she could do. Over the years, they just found themselves growing apart, and Hermione started spending more and more time away from them. They didn't understand this world, and they really didn't know anything about the war. She was always afraid that if she told them too much, they would make her leave, and she wasn't going to risk that. She told me often that she would never let you deal with everything that you had to deal with alone. She was quite adamant about it."

"She could have told me this, Neville. I never wanted her to sacrifice her family for me!"

"Hermione knew that, Harry. I think that she always felt like she had to prove herself to her parents, and that she was never quite good enough, no matter what she did...kind of like me with my Gran. With you and Ron, she knew that you needed her, you know? You really couldn't get along without her, and she liked being needed, I think. Her parents made her feel inadequate and a little bit unwanted, but here, fighting beside you...I think she felt like this was where she was supposed to be. In the end, as awful as it sounds, she had to make a choice. She knew that her parents might never forgive her, but you were more important to her by then."

"Then why has she gone back to them now?" Harry cried out, and then felt his face heat up in shame. He knew that he shouldn't feel that way. Hermione shouldn't have had to make that choice at all.

Instead of answering that question, Neville asked one of his own. "Harry? How do you feel about Hermione?"

"How do I feel? Well, she's my best friend! I care about her, I want her to be safe. I want her to be here, even though it makes me feel horrible that her parents aren't speaking to her. She shouldn't have to deal with that after everything that she's been through."

"Okay," Neville continued, "Now, how do you feel about Ginny?"

Harry felt his face heat up again, and he floundered for a response. "Well, she's...my girlfriend, I suppose. I care about her, too."

Neville nodded, as if that answered a question that he had in his mind. He stared at Harry a moment more, and then he said quietly, "Hermione gave up everything for you, Harry. Yes, she wanted to defeat Voldemort because she knew it was the right thing to do, but she gave up everything to try her best to make sure that you survived. She studied day and night, not just to keep up her grades, but to make sure that she knew everything that she might need to know to help you fight."

He paused, weighing his words. "Quite honestly, Harry, she prepared much more for your fight with Voldemort than you ever did. She gave up her family, she gave up her social life – or did you not notice that more and more blokes were giving her the eye those last couple of years? - and she put her dreams and everything else on hold because you needed her. I'm not telling you all this to make you feel guilty," he hastened to add, noticing the crestfallen look on Harry's face,"but I am telling you this to make you think. I didn't see any other girls doing all of that for you, even though many of them thought that they were "in love" with the great Harry Potter. I didn't see Ginny doing it, even when the two of you were dating. It was always Hermione."

The two men – for that's what they were now, having fought in a way that children never even should have seen, much less participated in – sat in silence for several minutes, both of them lost in thought as they finished their drinks. Finally, Neville finished and stood up beside his chair. "I've got to go, Harry. I promised Gran that I would be home in time for dinner. I just want to say one more thing, though. If I had a girl like Hermione, who had done all those things for me...I wouldn't just let her walk out of my life. Girls like that only come around once in a lifetime. You'd be a fool to give that up for for a girl who's been obsessed with you since before you even knew her."

And with that, Neville walked away, and Harry looked up to see a very irate Ginny scanning the room for her missing boyfriend. He chose to leave up the notice-me-not charm, sliding down in his chair and keeping his head turned away for good measure. He had a lot of thinking to do, and he really didn't think that talking to Ginny right now was going to help him any. He didn't think that he had ever been more confused.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note ~ I managed to get this written while my children were on Fall Break, y'all! It's some kind of Autumn miracle! Thanks again to Witherwings01 and B00kw0rm92 for making this much more readable, and to my children for not killing each other while I was writing (although I think they tried). **

**Thanks also to all those wonderful people who have reviewed. I answered some of you, but then the kids were home 24/7, and...well, I had good intentions anyway. You are all amazing, though. **

**Also, I don't own any part of Harry Potter and sadly never will. But it would be nice.**

* * *

Ginny hadn't spoken to Harry since they arrived at the Burrow after their shopping trip. She had searched everywhere for him, and when he had finally given in and allowed himself to be found, he refused to go back to Flourish and Blotts and buy any textbooks, telling her firmly that had decided not to return to Hogwarts on September first. He felt horrible for upsetting her the way that he had, especially when he saw the tears in her eyes, but it also felt wonderful to have made a decision. He would not return to Hogwarts without Hermione, and that was that.

He had been pleasantly surprised to find Luna at the Burrow when he returned. She insisted that she had just had a feeling that she ought to come by and visit, because she had felt a huge swarm of wrackspurts headed to the Burrow just last night. "I meant to come sooner," she told told him, "but they must have clouded my mind as they passed." She stared at Harry for a long moment, her silvery-gray eyes piercing his in a way that was almost uncomfortable. "It's quite odd, though." she continued, "You seems to have fewer wrackspurts than I would have expected. Do you feel especially clear-headed today, Harry? Perhaps you came across something in Diagon Alley that served as a repellent?"

"Well, um..." Harry was never exactly sure what to say to Luna, so he just settled on the truth. "I did run into Neville."

"Oh, Neville! That explains it! The wrackspurts have been avoiding him for a while now. I'll have to remember to ask him his secret!"

Luna looked curiously around the Burrow, seeing Mrs. Weasley busy preparing for the evening meal, and Ron lurking behind her, hoping for "just a taste" of whatever it was that she was cooking. Harry noticed that Ron seemed a bit more relaxed than the last time he had seen him and decided to talk to him later and see how he was doing. "Ron doesn't seem to be as affected by them either; I wonder where they..." she was interrupted by a door slamming loudly upstairs. Harry winced, knowing that Ginny was still infuriated with him. "Oh!" Luna smiled dreamily, "Obviously they have settled into the upper floors of the house! Perhaps I should see if Ginny needs my help getting rid of them."

Luna was almost to the staircase when she turned around and stared at Harry again. Harry waited patiently for her to say something, and he thought for a moment that she was just going to turn and walk away without telling him what was wrong. Instead she came back to him and stood very close, so that they were almost touching, and whispered, "Don't wait too long, Harry. You've got a feast in front of you, but you are content to take the scraps that are left over because that's all anyone has ever given you. If you wait too long to sit down at the table, someone else might just take your place."

And then she smiled at him again and turned back toward the staircase. "Ginny!" she called, "Slamming the door won't help! Noise doesn't bother them and they'll just slide in under the door anyway. They're very tiny!" She rushed upstairs, taking them two at a time, leaving Harry to stand alone in the middle of the room wondering what in the world she meant by what she had said to him. _I could have a feast? _He thought, baffled. _And who is trying to feed me table scraps? _ He had a feeling that she wasn't talking about dinner.

* * *

Luna stayed to eat with the Weasleys (and Harry assumed that this was _not _the feast that she had been speaking of, because she seemed completely unconcerned whether he took a seat at the table or not.) Instead, she seemed overwhelmingly absorbed in everything that Ron was saying, even when he was saying it while giving all of them a clear view of what he had just put in his mouth. _Hermione would be screaming at him by now, _Harry thought fondly. _She never did understand why he couldn't seem to learn common table manners. _The truth was, Harry wasn't really certain either, but after all these years he was just used to it; it was a part of Ron that Harry doubted would ever change. _It would have driven Hermione mad after a while, though. If they had stayed together, I really can't imagine that she would have ever stopped being disgusted by it. _

He found himself stealing glances at Ginny, when she wasn't paying attention, and wondering if there were things about her that would start to really bother him over time. He supposed that her jealousy and her temper could be a problem, but he had to admit to himself that he really didn't know that much about Ginny after all these years to be able to come to any conclusions about whether or not they could be happy together in the long run. He knew that she was smart and pretty...great at quidditch...and very funny sometimes, although he had to admit that her humor could often be cruel. _What is she afraid of? Does she want children someday? Where would she want to live if she could live anywhere? _All of those things were things that he knew about Hermione, because they had talked about them, but he really had no idea how Ginny might answer those questions. _And I know that she doesn't know any of those things about me. How does she even know that she wants to be with me?_ He honestly had no idea.

As if hearing his thoughts, Ginny raised her head and met his eyes. He thought for a moment that she had forgiven him, and that she might even start talking to him again, but instead she turned to her mother at the end of the table. "Mum, has Harry told you about the decision that he's made?"

_I can't believe she just did that! _Harry thought frantically, his mouth suddenly dry at the prospect of explaining himself to Mrs. Weasley. _She's trying to manipulate me!_

"No, dear, he hasn't. What have you decided to do, Harry?" Mrs. Weasley was smiling at him as if she expected him to say that he was going to wear gray robes tomorrow instead of black, or perhaps comb his hair differently. If Harry could have pulled out his wand right there and hexed Ginny, he would have.

"I've...I've decided not to go back to Hogwarts in September." he said quickly. "McGonagall told Hermione that she could study independently and take her NEWTS on her own time, and I think I would like to do that as well. I just can't show up at school as if nothing has happened. Too much has changed."

Mrs. Weasley looked for a moment as if she were going to be angry, but at the last moment she changed her mind. "I suppose that I can understand that. You've been through a lot this past year, and I know that Kingsley has made you a very good offer. You'll be taking him up on it, then?"

Before Harry could even answer her, though, she had turned to Ron. "As long as you know that I expect you to return with your sister. I've already had two sons leave school early, and I certainly won't have a third!" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Harry could tell she regretted them. Not because she did not expect Ron to return to school, but because she had just reminded everyone that Fred would never have that opportunity, even if he wanted it. Ron's face turned red, and he exploded at his mother as if he didn't even notice that she had tears in her eyes or that silence had fallen over the rest of the table.

"So you understand that Harry has been through a lot, do you? Well what about me? I was right there with him! How can you sit there and tell him that it's all right if he quits school but I have to go? Kingsley made me an offer too, you know! And do you really expect me to pass my classes without Hermione?"

Luna reached over and gently touched his arm, and Harry noticed, to his bafflement, that Ron calmed down immediately. "I'll help you, Ron. I'm in Ravenclaw, you know, so I do know a few things. And we'll be in the same year!" She smiled at him so fondly that Harry found himself completely flabbergasted. When had this happened? Had she always looked at him like that? _Hermione would know_ he thought to himself, and made a mental note to ask her the next time they talked.

"Besides, I'm convinced that the nargles will stop stealing my things this year, now that I'm wearing this new necklace that Father made me." Luna pulled out her necklace to show them all, and Harry had to admit that it had a startling number of Butterbeer corks on it this time. "But since they always infest the mistletoe, I wouldn't mind having someone to stand underneath it with me this year. Just to be safe, you understand. It always helps to have a second pair of eyes!"

Ron's ears were red again, but Harry didn't think it was from anger this time. If nothing else, Luna had defused the tension in the room, and the discussion about whether Ron would or would not attend Hogwarts would be left to another time. Harry was just glad to have the attention turned away from him. Ginny, he saw to his displeasure, was not.

"Harry just doesn't want to go back because of all the attention. He's being noble, as usual. But really, Mum, you should have seen it today! People were stopping him to ask for his autograph, and to thank him for all that he's done. Everyone loves him! I think he owes it to the people, really, to get out in public and let them see their hero! Everyone at school will be looking for him, and if McGonagall can tell the parents that Harry Potter will be returning, none of them will even worry about the Death Eaters that are still out there. I don't see how he can _not _go back, really!"

Harry slammed his fork down on the table, and felt all eyes in the room on him. He tried to reign in his temper, but it was impossible at this point. Why couldn't she see how much he hated this? "Just stop it, Ginny! I'm not going back to Hogwarts, and I'm not going to parade around for everyone to stare at me like I'm some sort of celebrity! Maybe you enjoy that kind of life, but I don't. And if that's the kind of life that you expect as the girlfriend of the Boy Who Lived, then maybe we aren't right for each other after all!"

Harry slid his chair back from the table and left the room as quickly as possible, knowing that he left a group of shocked Weasleys in his wake (Luna might have been shocked, too, but he doubted it somehow.) He felt a pang of guilt for saying what he had said to Ginny but, just like earlier when he had made his decision not to attend Hogworts, this decision left him feeling as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. _I don't really want to be with her, _he realized, to his dismay. He just hadn't wanted to hurt her, because he knew that Ginny had expected them to return to their relationship as soon as Voldemort was defeated. He hadn't thought that he could do that to her, or to her family, but now he was beginning to get it through his head that maybe it would be worse to stay with a girl that he didn't love.

_I don't love Ginny,_ he acknowledged. _At least not the way that I should love someone that I intend to be in a relationship with. Maybe it's Ginny that I love more like a sister? And if that's true, and I know that I DO love Hermione, then...blimey, what if I'm IN love with Hermione? What if Neville is right, and I should never have let her walk away? "Girls like her only come around once in a lifetime", he said. _

Immediately he was filled with trepidation that he had just lost the best thing he ever had in his life. He was weighing the pros and cons of taking the first portkey to Australia that he could get his hands on, when out of the corner of his eye, he saw an owl sitting patiently in the window, as if waiting for him. He didn't recognize the owl as being from any of his friends or acquaintances, so he approached him slowly, and made sure to check the parchment over for curses or hexes before he opened it. To his astonishment, it was from Hermione, and the joy that surged through him when he saw her handwriting would have convinced him of his feelings if he was not already fairly certain of them. His hands were shaking as he read her words.

_Dear Harry, _

_I just wanted to write and let you know that I arrived safely. I miss you already, but I'm sure that you've got so many people around you that you've hardly noticed that I'm gone. Is Ron all right? I really hated to leave him like that, and I hope that he will forgive me someday. I have to believe that, when it's all said and done, we will still have our friendship. _

_I just wanted to encourage you again, Harry, to try to figure out what you want to do with your life. Don't let the Weasley's influence you, not even Ginny. You deserve this, Harry! Find out what you want to do, and don't let anyone or anything keep you from your dreams. If the two of you are meant to be, she'll understand. I know that, as long as I know that you are happy, I will be content...so it stands to reason that she would feel the same way. _

_Anyway, I'm going to try to talk to my parents again tomorrow. I've made a nice muggle friend who has promised to show me around this evening; I figured that if I'm going to be here for a while, I might as well get to know the area. I'd better hurry up and send this, as a matter of fact! My friend will be here soon, and I really don't want to have to explain why I'm tying a note to an owl's leg. Write me back soon, if you can. I really miss all of you._

_Love, Hermione_

Harry read over the letter several times, his dismay growing each time through. He was mystified by his earlier blindness toward Hermione; how had he not seen how perfect the two of them would be together, after all this time? There was no one else on the planet that knew him the way that she did, and now that he had seen it, he couldn't believe that he had been so stupid. But his eyes kept coming back to that one line: "I've made a nice muggle friend..." and he felt the panic growing once again. She hadn't said if the friend was male or female. What if she had already met a boy? _He's taking my seat! If I don't do something, he's going to take my seat!_

Looking around the room frantically, his eyes fell upon some parchment and a quill lying on the desk in the corner. He raced over, telling the owl to hang on as his mind tried to piece together the words to write to Hermione. Never had he worried so much over a letter to his best friend, and in the end he settled on just telling her the truth. It had always worked for them in the past.

Dear Hermione,

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I think that I know, at least to some extent, what I want to do. I can't put it all in a letter, though, and I've come to the conclusion that nothing makes the least bit of sense without you, Hermione. So I was thinking...how would you feel if I came to spend a bit of time with you in Australia? I could get my own place, but maybe we could get together during the day and see the sights together? I've always wanted to travel (and no, living in a tent for a year doesn't count), and maybe we could both figure out what we want to do together.

I know that you wanted to get away, Hermione, but I had no idea how much I would miss you, and I really need to talk to you about how my feelings have changed lately. I'm pretty sure that Ginny and I have broken up, and I'm surprisingly okay with that...and I think that you are the reason why. You said that you loved me, remember? Well, no one has ever said that to me before, and I think that, if I ever loved anyone, it would have to be you. I don't know what that means, really, except that I can't stand the thought of you being so far away. So what do you say? I'll do whatever you want me to do, even if it kills me.

Please write back soon. I doubt that I will even be able to sleep until I hear from you again.

Love, Harry

_And now I wait, _Harry thought, resigned to the long night ahead. He sat down on the bed, intent on thinking through everything that had happened in the last couple of days. He was so focused on his thoughts that he almost jumped out of his skin a few minutes later when there was a loud knock on the door. "Harry, it's me, Ron. I think we need to talk about what you said to Ginny earlier." Ron didn't sound very happy, either.

_Crap. Maybe I should have just let Voldemort kill me after all._


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note ~ Hello, lovely people! I'm a little late this week, I know. Real life got the best of me, but I hope that you are at least a little bit happy with the way the story is moving along. Next chapter we will finally have Harry and Hermione on the same continent again! **

**Many thanks, as usual, to Witherwings01 (who has such wonderful suggestions when I get myself completely befuddled) and B00kw0rm 92 (who keeps me grounded by saying things like, "It's FINE, Mom. Stop obsessing. Now what's for dinner?) Not to mention all of you who have reviewed and followed and favorited. I heart your faces. All of them.**

**I still own nothing in the Harry Potter universe. **

* * *

Harry had never, in all their years of friendship, had a more awkward conversation with Ron Weasley.

It had started off rather predictably; Ron was angry with Harry about his apparent public break-up with Ginny during dinner in front of everyone. Ginny was crying in her room, and Ron felt that he must do his big-brother duties and either set Harry back on the right path (which, Harry could only assume, would include a humble apology and a proposal of marriage, because that was clearly the direction that everyone had assumed that they were headed) or pound him into oblivion for his misbehavior. When Harry had not immediately professed his sorrow over the break-up, Ron had appeared confused. He hadn't truly thought that he might have to fight Harry over the situation, and had assumed that once he had expressed his displeasure and let his friend know how much he had hurt Ginny, all would be right with the world again. It truly never dawned on him that Harry and Ginny would not end up together after all this time.

"What do you mean things just aren't working out with Ginny? I haven't even seen you two fighting before today. You can't end things after one argument! Don't you remember how many rows Hermione and I got into?"

"Yes, Ron...I think I can remember that rather well, since I was right there in the middle of most of them. It's not the same, though. You heard her in there, going on at your Mum about how wonderful it was when everybody stopped and stared at us today, asking for my autograph and wanting to shake my hand. I thought it was awful! How can she say that she cares about me, when she doesn't even know how much I hate all this attention!"

"Bloody Hell, Harry! How can you _not _expect people to thank you for what you did? It was brilliant, how you killed old Moldy Wart right there in front of everyone, so _of course_ they want to shake your hand! Can't you just try to enjoy it for once? You're going to have to get used to it now, anyway; we all are, I think. When I went in to the shop the other day to help George, people were coming up left and right to ask me questions and to tell me how great it was that I stood by you all those years, and I just answered them the best that I could. One bird even offered to buy me a drink in the Leaky Cauldron! I told her no, of course," he hastened to add when Harry glared at him.

"It's not as if I had any choice in killing him, Ron! So, no, I don't want to be thanked and I don't want to sign autographs. I just want to be happy that it's over, and get on with my life. I've even...I'm even thinking of leaving here for a while. Getting away for a bit. Maybe just until things settle down..."

"You're going to leave _now_? Just walk away, from Ginny and all of us? Just like Hermione did?" Ron was obviously gearing up for a typical Weasley explosion. "What is wrong with the two of you? Everyone here needs you, Harry! Merlin, Fred just died! It's bad enough that Hermione ran off right after the funerals to go to Australia, and then when she came back she didn't even act the way that a bloke would expect for his girlfriend to act...instead she just sat around and acted depressed all the time. _I _should be the one depressed, it's my brother that died, and did she even give one thought to staying here to help me through it? No, she just had to run off to her parents when they were _fine!_ A few more months without their memories wouldn't have hurt them, and it's not as if it did Hermione any good anyway, did it? They don't even want anything to do with her now!"

Harry sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. He should have realized that this would descend into a discussion about Hermione, and how in the world was he supposed to handle this? Ron wasn't exactly known for listening to reason when he was in this kind of mood.

"Look...I don't expect you to understand. But I've been thinking a lot lately, and I think that we really took Hermione for granted for a long time. If you think about it, she gave up her entire world to follow us around in a tent for a year, not to mention everything else that she's done since we met, and we really never even thanked her for it. We'd have been dead a hundred times over if it hadn't been for her! And now, when it's all over, I think that we really ought to help her get her life back together again. Or I should, at least. I know that you've got responsibilities here with your family."

Ron stared at him in horror, as if it finally sunk in what Harry was saying. "You're going to Hermione? That's where you're going to "get away"? She broke up with me, and you just broke up with my sister, and now you're going to go run off and be together now? Is that it?"

"No! I mean yes, sort of. But it's more that we both need to get away and decide how we feel, and I think that maybe we need each other. We had to depend on each other a lot in the last year, you know."

Ron was silent for a few moments, and Harry knew that he was remembering the time that he had left them alone during the hunt for the horcruxes. Even though Harry had said that he had forgiven him, Ron obviously still felt shame for his actions. _As well he should, _Harry found himself thinking, and he was momentarily ashamed of himself. Perhaps forgiveness hadn't been so easily given after all.

"That was a low blow bringing that up, Harry," Ron accused, and Harry found his anger heating up again.

"Well I'm sorry, Ron, but it happened, and we can't just ignore it! Hermione and I were alone together for a long time. We depended on each other, and we said things to each other that I don't think either one of us has ever said to anyone else. I didn't know, until she left, how much I had come to depend on her, and I think that if I'm ever going to figure out what it is that I'm going to do, it's going to have to include Hermione."

"You told me that you loved her like a sister, Harry. I don't know why you'd need your sister to help you figure out what to do with your life! I think I could make those decisions just fine without Ginny." He narrowed his eyes, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Unless you lied to me. Unless you _don't _think of her as a sister, and you just said that to get me to kill the bloody horcrux!"

"I didn't lie to you, Ron!" Harry insisted, but his friend had already turned away, his jaw set in anger. Harry lunged forward, preventing him from leaving just as he reached the door. "Listen to me, Ron! I didn't lie to you! I completely believed what I told you at the time, but I don't think that I understood it myself. How was I supposed to know how it felt to love a sister? It's not as if I ever had any kind of a family. I just knew that Hermione was very important to me, and I didn't know exactly what that meant." He swallowed, wishing that he was anywhere else than in this room having this conversation right now. _It's now or never, I suppose_, he thought, and he wished that his heartbeat would slow down just a bit so that he could think straight.

"I think that I know what it meant now though. I think that I have feelings for Hermione, more than I would if she were my sister. I don't know...it's not as if I'm very good at this, or that I even know what I'm supposed to feel, and I know that none of you may ever forgive me, but...I know that I need to find out. I need to go to Australia."

The silence stretched on so long that Harry was certain that Ron was never going to speak to him again. He stood up, intent on finding somewhere in the house to wait on Hermione's return owl, when Ron finally responded, his voice so strained with his anger that Harry hardly recognized it.

"You know that this changes everything, don't you? I can't look at the two of you together. I know that Ginny won't be able to either. And Mum...all she's wanted for these past couple of years was for us all to be together, especially now that we've lost Fred. She thinks of you and Hermione as if you were her children, and if you leave us...if you leave us and run off together, after everything that we've been through...it will never be the same again. You can't just come back and expect to have the same friendship, the same family, waiting for you. We trusted you, Harry! You can't expect to break Ginny's heart and run off with the girl that I have loved for years and just come back someday as if nothing happened."

And that, Harry knew, was what had kept him from accepting his feelings for Hermione all along. Could he really do it? Could he really give up this family, who taken him in and been the only true family that he had ever known, and make a life with just Hermione and himself? Could he really give up Ron's friendship, knowing that his friend would really probably never forgive him? Could he really leave, and hurt all of the people who had meant so much to him?

But then he thought of the alternative. Staying there, pretending that everything was fine, probably marrying Ginny and joining the Aurors, living out his life as the hero that they all wanted. No one would care if he were happy or not, just as long as he was doing what he was supposed to do and sacrificing himself for the good of everyone else, just as he always had. Just as Hermione always had. And then letting Hermione make her way alone, on a whole other continent, trying to put the pieces of her life back together by herself. _Without him. _And he knew that he couldn't do it.

"Yes, Ron. I know that it changes everything, and I'd give anything if this weren't going to hurt all of you. But I gave up everything that I had, including my own life, to save this world from Voldemort. I didn't expect to even be standing here today, but since I am...I think I'm entitled to a little bit of happiness now, don't you? I hope that you will all forgive me some day, but even if you don't I still have to do this. If you care anything about me at all, you'll understand eventually. I think, when it's all said and done, this is what's best for all of us."

"And if I don't? If I don't ever understand?"

"Then I'm sorry, Ron. But Hermione has stood by me to hell and back, and I think she needs me now. I know that I need her. And in the end, although I want your friendship, and I want to be a part of this family...I don't _need _it. I'll survive without it. But I don't think I could survive without Hermione."

And with that he left the room, hoping that he would hear back from Hermione soon, because he had a feeling he had just over-stayed his welcome at the Burrow.

* * *

Many hours later, after silence had finally descended on the house, Harry found himself still wide awake and watching intently for an owl to appear in his window. He had taken refuge in the twin's room and had been waiting with bated breath for someone else to show up at the door to confront him, but so far no one had. He didn't know if Ron had told them of their conversation or not, but it seemed that he at least wasn't going to have to deal with any more Weasleys until morning. He was immeasurably grateful.

Finally, just when he thought that he wasn't going to be able to hold his eyes open for one more minute, he saw what he was sure was an owl flying toward the house. He raced to the window, willing the owl to fly faster, and when it finally landed on the windowsill he almost tore the parchment from it's leg. The owl hooted loudly and nipped at his hand, noticeably annoyed, but Harry waved him off impatiently. "Give me a minute, will you?" he asked irritably, "I'll find you something to eat as soon as I read this."

He opened the parchment carefully, almost afraid of what he would find inside. What if she turned him down? What if she didn't want him to come? What if he had burned his bridges with the Weasleys for nothing? He would be completely alone. He wasn't sure that he could bear to lose everyone that he loved, not after everything that had happened. He knew that he couldn't bear to lose Hermione. Then he heard her voice in his mind, just as clearly as if she were standing next to him: _Are you a Gryffindor or not, Harry? Just read it!_

He noticed immediately that the handwriting was not Hermione's usual perfect script, and that there were several lines that had obviously been changed. He frowned, worried about what could have made her agonize so over what she said to him. He took a deep breath and began to read.

Dear Harry,

I didn't know what to think when I read your letter. Of course I would love to have you here with me! I'm missing you terribly as well, and I didn't know that it would be this difficult to be separated from you again after all this time. But I'm worried. You said that you are "pretty sure" you have broken up with Ginny. Are you really confident in what you are feeling, Harry? It's only been a day. How can you know what you want that quickly?

I told you before, I could very easily fall in love with you; truth be told, I've probably been in love with you for years. But I need to know that you are clear about what you are feeling. I can live my life loving you without my feelings being returned if I know that you are happy, but I don't know what I would do if I gave my heart to you only to find out that you didn't have those kind of feelings for me after all. We might lose our friendship then, and I don't think I could live without that.

I want you to come here Harry, I truly do. If you know that whatever was between you and Ginny is definitely over, then I suppose it wouldn't hurt for you to come to Australia. Just know that I won't jump into anything. We will start off the way that we always are, the best of friends...and after that, we'll see what happens. Just promise me that you'll be honest with me about how you feel, okay? As long as we continue to trust each other, I suppose we'll be fine.

Talk to Professor McGonagall about getting a portkey. She's the one who got mine for me, and she knows where I am. I hope to see you soon, Harry. I do miss you terribly.

Love, Hermione

Harry carefully folded the letter and put it in his pocket. There was a spot of smeared ink at the end, and he suspected that Hermione just might have been much more emotional while writing the letter than she wanted him to know. He felt horrible that he had caused her so much distress, but he was positive now about how he felt; the way that his heart had jumped when he read that Hermione thought that she might have been in love with him for years had pretty much settled that. He understood her hesitation, however, and he vowed that he would prove himself to her, even if it took the rest of his life. After all, he owed her everything. It was about time he started paying it back.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello, all you wonderful, forgiving people! Seriously, please don't kill me. I have been writing this chapter in bits and pieces for three weeks, but real life just kept going haywire and I kept getting interrupted. I *think* things have calmed down a bit here, but since I have four kids and a ridiculously huge extended family, I never really know. I'll try my best to update next week, though.

Thanks go out, as always, to Witherwings01 and B00kw0rm92, for making sure that I don't post anything too terribly ridiculous. (You can thank B00kw0rm92 for making sure that I don't descend into too much Weasley bashing. She sends my chapter back to me with lines bolded if she thinks I'm being too harsh. Bless her kindhearted soul.) Also, continued thanks to all of you beautiful people who continue to review, follow, and favorite this story (I think that the reviewers are the most beautiful, though, but that's just my humble opinion. You're all mighty good-looking folks!) And again, as always, I do not own one bit of Harry Potter. Never have, never will.

Now. Why are you still reading this? Harry and Hermione are about to have a major moment, y'all! What are you waiting for?

* * *

He didn't know how long he'd been standing there, staring at the door of the hotel room. He just hadn't yet come up with the courage to knock. It seemed that courage was something that he had been lacking since his talk with Ron.

He had left the Burrow early that morning, without telling anyone else where he was going. He knew that Mrs. Weasley, and especially Ginny, were going to be hurt and angry with him, but he also knew that he really didn't want to have that argument again. Ron could tell them what was going on, and Harry figured that they were going to be angry anyway, so what good did it do to stick around to listen to it? If it made him a coward, so be it. Maybe if Ginny saw it that way, her vision of him as the conquering hero would be shattered and she would move on to someone else. Despite the fact that Harry knew they were not meant to be together, he still wanted her to be happy. He only hoped that she would eventually feel the same way.

He had arrived at Hogwarts early, and he suspected by Professor McGonagall's reaction to his plea for assistance that she had not been awake very long. At least, he hoped that was why she appeared so grumpy with him. While she was arranging for his portkey to Sydney, she was continuously mumbling under her breath about how it was "about time", and something about "wizards who couldn't see what was right in front of them", and then he thought that she said something about how if they had just figured out their feelings before she'd be about twenty galleons richer, although Harry wasn't sure that he heard that last part correctly.

Finally, she handed him a small statue of a purple frog ("It belonged to Professor Dumbledore. Ugliest thing I've ever seen!") and told him to make sure that he was touching it in an hour, which would give him just enough time to go to Gringotts to withdraw some money for his trip. He thought that she was done with him and was about to say his goodbyes and leave the office when she surprised him with a word of advice: "Make sure that you do this right, Mr. Potter. That girl has felt as if she had to be perfect for everyone her entire life. She's more than earned her right to stand at your side; perhaps now it's time that you earned the right to stand beside her."

Harry had thanked her, promising to do just that, and had made it to Gringotts with just enough time to withdraw enough galleons his vault and exchange it for muggle money under the extremely mistrusting eyes of the Goblins. Even the huge sum that he had given them after the final battle to help cover the cost of repairs to the building had not gone far enough to repair his relationship with them. He thought about giving them an oath that he would never, ever steal a half-blind dragon from them and leave parts of their building in ruins again, but he figured that might not be the safest course of action. Who knew, with the way his life tended to go, when he might need to break that promise? Better safe than sorry.

So now, all of that had led to him standing outside of Hermione's hotel room. Professor McGonegall had told him where she was staying, and he had already gotten himself a room right across the hall from her. Now that he was here, however, he had no idea what to do. He tried reminding himself that this was Hermione, the same Hermione that he had known for years, but he knew that it was different now. He couldn't treat her the same way that he always had before, and that left him in a bit of a quandary. Simply realizing that he was more than likely completely head-over-heals in love with Hermione didn't change the fact that he was completely rubbish at this, and his usual course of action (asking Hermione what to do) was kind of closed to him at this point. How had he ever thought that he would not make a complete mess of this? Maybe he should just go back to the Burrow, where everything was all wrong, but at least it was safe. He didn't really even have to try there. As a matter of fact, he would have to actively try to be horrible in order for Ginny to even think of getting rid of him, and surely that was easier than this, wasn't it? Hermione would always be his best friend, and things could go on as they always had.

But before he could turn around, she opened her door. She didn't notice him immediately because her mind was obviously a million miles away, but when she did the obvious joy on her face wiped away any thoughts that he had about leaving. By the time she had thrown herself into his arms and he realized that his shirt was growing wet with her tears, he knew that walking away from her was never going to be an option again, and by the time he comprehended that she was kissing him for the first time he knew that he had found his way home. Forget what was easy; he had what was right, and he never intended to let her go.

Hermione broke this kiss first, and she stared at him for a long time before flushing a bright red and pulling away. "I'm sorry, Harry. I was just...I was afraid that you would change your mind, or that the Weasley's would talk you into staying at the Burrow. I tried to tell myself that it would be all right if you did, because we would still be friends and that's _fine_, really it is, if that makes you happy, but...I'm afraid that I had gotten my hopes up a bit, and then when I saw you, I just...oh, Harry, I kissed you! I didn't even...I'm so..."

"Hermione!" Harry interrupted, gently putting his finger over her lips. "If you tell me that you're sorry that you kissed me, I'm going to be terribly offended. I rather think that was one of the most brilliant things that ever happened to me."

"But that wasn't supposed to happen! I was going to wait, I was going to be sure of your feelings, and I was going to let _you _kiss _me _if it happened at all because I wanted you to want to, and not do anything because you felt like I expected it, and..."

Harry, growing weary of her explanations, did the only thing that he could think of to do, and that was to kiss her again. This time she didn't pull away, and it was quite a while before they returned to reality. Harry was mystified. How had they known each other for so long, but had never done this? What was wrong with them? He could have been kissing her for YEARS, and now all that time was totally wasted, and he would never get it back. _I suppose I'll just have to focus on making up for lost time_, he thought, as he leaned in again, but this time Hermione stopped him.

"Wait, Harry. We can't just do this. I mean, it's wonderful, and I _want_ to kiss you again, but...we have to be practical about this. You just broke up with Ginny. You might be confused about your feelings, and I need to be sure that you're sure. Do you understand? I need...I mean, I want...we can't...oh, for goodness sakes! Why don't we just go get some breakfast and talk? Is that all right?"

Harry couldn't decide if he was annoyed that she wouldn't kiss him again, or amused that he had gotten her so flustered, but in the end his stomach growling loudly made him decide to just go along with her suggestion. He had left the Burrow rather abruptly during dinner last night, and he supposed that it might help him to think more clearly if he had a full stomach. Not that he really needed to think anymore. As far as he was concerned, he was following Hermione wherever she planned to go for the rest of his natural life, and everything else would sort itself out. He had never been more sure of anything, and couldn't imagine why he had been so afraid before. This was where he belonged. He just had to convince her of that.

* * *

They found a restaurant that served breakfast, and at first Harry was too busy eating to say much of anything, while Hermione smiled fondly at him and ate at a much more leisurely pace. At some point his stomach signaled to him that he had had enough and he sat back and watched her finish her food. _She's still too thin, _he thought with an intense feeling of guilt. This last year – the last several years, if he were being honest – had taken so much out of her. He tried to remember a time when she had complained, and came up empty. Even when they were starving and on the run, even after Ron had left them, even after she had been _tortured, _for goodness sakes, she had picked herself up and kept going. Yes, she had cried for weeks after Ron left, but Harry thought now that it was possible that the horcrux had been manipulating her emotions, similarly to how it had manipulated Ron's. She had been forced to wear it more often once Ron left, after all. They had both been miserable.

"You're staring." Hermione's voice interrupted his thoughts, and Harry shook his head a bit to clear it. "Is there something wrong? Are you sorry that you came? Because that's all right if you are, I would understand. You gave up a lot to come here, and if you're having second thoughts..."

"No, Hermione. It's not that. Quite the opposite, in fact." Harry paused, gathering his thoughts. "I was just thinking about how much I had taken for granted over the years, and how I have never really thanked you for everything that you did. You gave up everything for me, to help me fight what was seemingly a losing battle, and you never even said "I told you so" for all the times that I should have listened to you and didn't. I was so focused on what I had to do that I didn't even see what it was doing to you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Oh, Harry. Of course I can, but there's really nothing to forgive. You had the weight of the world on your shoulders, and no one could have carried that load any better than you did. You couldn't have been expected to worry about how I was getting along every minute of the day..."

"But that's just it! I should have! You were the only reason that we were still alive!"

"But Harry, that was my job! That's what you needed me to do, to take care of us so that you could focus on winning the war, and I was glad to do it. I liked feeling needed, honestly, and I would do it all over again if it meant that Voldemort would be gone and you would be alive and finally allowed to have a normal life. It was worth it, for me. Really, there isn't anything for you to apologize for."

Harry searched her face, looking for any sign that she was just trying to make him feel better, but he could clearly see that she was being honest with him. It made him feel immeasurably better, but he still couldn't shake the guilt. _I'll just have to make it up to her, _he vowed. _She helped me to do what I needed to do. Now I'll just have to help her. Whatever it takes._

Their conversation changed course, briefly touching on Harry's conversation with Ron, and continuing on to what Hermione planned to do about her parents. Hermione was still being intentionally vague, but Harry could read between the lines enough to know that she felt as if she had lost her parents for good. He couldn't imagine how anyone could turn their back on their child, but he admitted to himself that the circumstances behind this had been most unusual. Perhaps they just needed a bit more time? He didn't know them enough to truly form an opinion, but he couldn't imagine that they could remain angry with her forever. He began plotting in his mind what he might do to help them see what a wonderful daughter Hermione was, and how she had done everything in her power to protect them, and before long he was feeling much better about his debt to the brilliant girl in front of him. Surely someone who had defeated a dark lord, someone who had been hit with a killing curse TWICE and still lived, someone who had survived the Dursleys and everything that they had thrown at him...surely that someone could also make two muggle dentists see what they would be losing if they let go of Hermione.

After all, he knew now what he would have lost. He shuddered to think of what his life would have become if he had walked away back there in the hotel hallway before Hermione had walked out. He would make them see that they couldn't live without her, either.

And if he couldn't, if no matter what he said they still couldn't bring themselves to trust her again and regain their relationship with their daughter, then he would just have to be her family. She was already his, and he knew that even if the Weasley's never forgave him, Hermione would be enough.

He just hoped that she could ever say that about him, if it came to that.


End file.
